Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
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