There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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