i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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