I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
you didnt know i had herpes?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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