is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
