How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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