I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
she looked like the before picture.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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