What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
