So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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