we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
