we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
