just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
