Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
