You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
