Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Never joke about your clitoris.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
