you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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