I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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