I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Randomize
