they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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