You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
