benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
