And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
