you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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