dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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