so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
