the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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