i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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