People in love make me want to vomit
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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