Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Randomize
