he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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