so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
