i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
