Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize
