She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
