I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
