I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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