whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
