So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
they're like a gay fantastic four
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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