I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
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