oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
