Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize