Well douche your snatch and let's go!
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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