I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
