I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
