Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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