so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
