he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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