You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
