Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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