I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Randomize
