Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
