I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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