Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
