Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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