lets start a swedish sibling band together
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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