The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
