you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
