yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize