and you said cock pushups were impossible
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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