So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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